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Whole Wide World of Poop!



Luna TainaMy daughter, Luna Taina, turned one on February 5th. She is an absolute joy and her personality shows no bounds. She is a sweet cuddle monkey, fearless adventurer, and a super duper pooper! “Oh My Lord” are the only words I can muster when thinking about the Whole Wide World of Poop. She is my first child so I didn’t know what I was getting myself into. I have gathered my top 5 most amazing poop episodes for your viewing pleasure.

Poop comes in all shapes and sizes but just because they are small people doesn’t mean they have small movements. I once had the distinct pleasure of having her poop while her diaper was open. What emerged was not child-like at all but an anaconda–at least a 2 pounder. My nephews (10 and 7) who were there at the time watched the episode unfold and exclaimed, “Wow, that is as big as mine!”
Size is not the only variant when it comes to poop; it also comes in many colors. Yellow, green, orange (if you give them a lot of carrots or squash to eat) along with your standard, dark and light browns mixed in. There is always the occasional gray or dreary poop.

When changing your child, get in the habit of having the fresh diaper ready and placing it underneath the dirty one, so with lightening speed you can replace the dirty diaper and be prepared for any last minute attacks of poop or pee. I learned this tip way too late and have my battle scars to prove it. Kids are fast little suckers.

Never “check” your child’s diaper by sticking your finger into it! I watched other mothers do this and thought it was harmless. One time, I wasn’t sure if she was wet and I didn’t smell anything poopy-like. Sometimes diapers can be on so airtight that the smell is undetectable until you lower the drawbridge. So I shoved my nice sanitized finger into no man’s land and came back with a finger of poop. So gross! My daughter of course thought my squeal was the funniest thing ever. So when checking the diaper, lift a small opening and peer inside or do a whiff test. You don’t want to be holding a finger of poop!

Finally beware of traveling with your child to the homes of family members. Especially Grandma’s house. They are notorious of having the Hansel and Gretel complex. Stuffing your child like a thanksgiving turkey. I traveled with Luna to see her grandparents in Orlando, FL. My daughter has the habit of appearing hungry right after she has eaten. If you are enjoying food in front of her, she will mimic your mouth movements and appear hungry. She won’t cry but just this mimicking motion is enough to trick people into thinking she wants some. She will of course eat anything that is given to her. She’s a baby, and can’t stop herself. Well all of my protests and pleading to stop feeding her went on deaf ears and I was stuck with a pooping nightmare.

What goes in, must and will, come out.

I changed poop flowing diapers every 30 minutes for 8 hours. I am not exaggerating. One dirty diaper after another. I couldn’t believe what was coming out of my child. Her bottom was becoming red and sore from all of it and I showed my mother-in-law what all her feeding did to her. Thankfully, my in-laws did not feed her like that again.

I hope these anecdotes prove helpful to you. Keep in mind to listen to your instincts and take care of yourself. You don’t want to be too pooped to play!

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